I am going to push the PAUSE button on PedalTheOcean for a little
while to let me catch my breath and figure out a way to get the
project re-organized in a way that works better for me. Because it's
not working right now – at least not in a way that makes me happy, or
in a way that I believe has the best chances of concluding with a safe
and successful human powered journey across the ocean.
I came to this conclusion AFTER writing this, which ended up being a
valuable therapeutic exercise. It forced me to really think about my
long term goals, short term goals and contemplate how to incorporate
stuff I enjoy doing into achieving those goals and attempting to
elliminate most of the stuff I really don't like.
If I could buy a fully tested, time-proven, completely equipped pedal
powered boat, ready for an ocean crossing in the Canary Islands,
complete with a support team ready to go, I would do it tomorrow and
go. What makes my human powered crossing different than simply
entering Woodvale's 2009 Atlantic Rowing Race, is that none of the
infastructure, or tested and proven pedal powered ocean capable boat
technology exists for what I am trying to do. I have to do it all
myself which is definately part of the challenge I set out for myself.
It's just that the infastructure I have set in place for accomplishing
this challenge isn't right for me or the project, and I really need to
take some time to figure out a way to make it work.
It's a huge job and it has to be done right. My life is on the line.
If I keep going the way I have been, I am afraid that I will take one
too many short-cuts and end up in trouble.
All of my previous and current projects aside from PTO are very much
solo efforts. PTO is way too big for that and I need to find a way to
make it a team effort. The one-man show can only get me so far and PTO
is too big to do it all on my own. The fact that a major corporate
sponsor has not yet materialized has alienated me further by pushed me
deeper into the solo zone.
To summarize, Pedal The Ocean really needs the backing of a TEAM. I'm
done with the solo approach. I need to take the time to figure out how
to structure this expedition in a way that provides every member of a
team some kind of suitable return for their time investment – weather
it is financial, fame and glory, exposure, experience, or what ever
they might be looking for.
If you are interested in reading more about how I came to this
conclusion, following is the expanded train of thought that lead me to
this decision. As always, your thoughts and comments are welcome (see
below for comment submission directions)
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I'm totally frustrated these days and to top it off, my ambition level
towards my various projects has reached an all-time, rock bottom low.
I have some ideas why and thought it would help me to lay it all down
in a blog post. One of the reasons I like to blog is it keeps me
focused on my goals and I find the act of writing to be a very
powerful way of forcing me to really think-through what I am trying to
accomplish. Step one in achieving a goal is to make a plan. Step 2 is
to FOLLOW the plan. Keeping a public journal is a really efficient way
to plan and stick to your plan.
I sat behind my desk for hours yesterday morning (heck, make that
EVERY morning for the last 2 weeks!) procrastinating regarding the
work I know I need to do on the 24 hour boat waiting patiently for me
the in shop. I just hate the thought of going into the shop now – I'm
frankly just totally sick of it. I find that when I'm in there working
away, all I can think of is the absolute fastest and painless route to
getting it done. It's a serious case of getitdoneitis. Unfortunately,
the fastest and easiest way to get something done isn't always the
right way. The satisfaction that I usually feel when creating
something with my hands is completely gone right now.
I am sure that part of my attitude toward my still nameless 24 hour
record attempt boat is the fact that I am 12% below my efficiency
benchmark required to make a serious attempt at Carter Johnsons 245
km, 24 hour kayaking distance record. I honestly feel that I will
solve the problem(s), but my attitude toward actually physically doing
the work required to test possible solutions would have me fired if I
was doing this for a living.
The fact that I have been dealing with a bit of an injury which has
really derailed my training for the 24 hour event isn't exactly
cranking-up the levels of enthusiasm either. The one aspect of
everything I am doing that I really do feel enthusiastic toward is my
training. So much so, that I have been resenting the other work that
often takes precident over my workouts.
This recent bad attitude virus I've come down with isn't limited to
the 24 hour record boat – unfortunately, it has really effected
progress on PedalTheOcean project. I'm not in the shop anymore with
that, as I have decided to farm out the construction of the human
powered boat that will take me across the Atlantic ocean. The problem
I'm having with PTO right now, is I am tired and worn out from
pushing, pushing, pushing all the time. When I'm not actually DOING
the work myself, I'm on the phone, or email trying to get it done and
more often than not, it's like pushing a 1000 pound piano up a hill –
the moment you stop, everything wants to go back the way it came.
Everything from the final boat design (not Rick – he's been
fantastic), to contracting a boat builder, to finding a sponsor, to
finding a support boat – everything immediately stalls the very
instant it exits my consciousness. I'm so tired of constantly pushing.
I feel like I just want to coast for a bit, or at least be able to
rely on some help from others in some way.
I'm not blaming anyone, as this is the sort of thing that naturally
happens when you are a one-man show – even when you are PAYING for it!
As an example, I sent about a half dozen request for bids to boat
builders for building the new Ocean WiTHiN, and not one builder was
interested. I have a sneaking suspition that I may need to build it
myself, and I REALLY do NOT want to commit to the kind of shop time
that is going to require! At least, not now. The final designs are
weeks – no, make that MONTHS overdue, volunteers who offered to help
with some aspect of the expedition inevitably lose interest and their
contribution slowly trickles to a stop. The thing is, I TOTALLY don't
blame any of them. If I was doing something for free, I would
eventually lose interest also.
When I was trading futures, I used to have a sign posted on the top of
my computer monitor that read "It's all my own fault!". I lived by
that, and still do (well, I try to anyhow). I know that I won't solve
anything by blaming someone else for my problems. I created the
problems myself by creating the environment that the problems grew in.
Robert Anthony said "When you blame others, you give up your power to
change."
I think one of the issues that contributes to my frustration of late
is that I've been feeling very issolated, and I'm tired of the one-man
show thing. My various projects are not a business, so I can't justify
hiring a staff, so I'm in it totally alone. I love the fact that all
you out are supporting me by following the blog and contributing your
input to my various trials and tribulations – that means SO much to
me. And, I do have many, many friends who have freely given of their
time and expertice just to be involved in what I am trying to
accomplish. This makes me feel somewhat justified, but sometimes it's
not enough. For the most part, the world will basically remain
unchanged weather I do or don't set a new distance record, qualify or
not for Kona again, or cross the Atlantic ocean by human power slower
or faster than a rower. I would love nothing more than to work with a
team – be part of a real community – who all share the same passion
for human power and what 'we' are trying to accomplish. That is why I
enjoy Ironman triathlon so much – I enjoy training with friends and to
be involved with a comminuty who all share the same basic goals
regarding making through one of the toughest races in the world.
When I think about what most I would like to be doing with my life
right now, what I envision is very symptomatic of how I am feeling
these days regarding the stress I'm under with PTO expedition
planning. I would THRILL at the prospect of doing RAAM! – The Race
Across America is a bike race across the continental US and the
thought of doing it someday gets my heart pounding like it used to
when I first concieved of the human powered Atlantic crossing.
Something else that revs me up is the thought of doing Ultraman – a 3
day stage ultra Ironman (10 km swim, 421 km bike, and DOUBLE
marathon!) I am looking forward to our vacations this summer – a
kayaking tour with friends on Vancouver Island and a possible bike,
kayak or sailing trip in North Carolina with Helen. I am really
looking forward to getting into my Ironman training again and getting
ready for Ironman Arizona in November where I will attempt to qualify
for Kona again. None of these activities involve anything to do with
my shop, begging someone else to do something for me for free or as
little money as I can talk them into, or dozens upon dozens of
unknowns that all will inevitably be learned the hard way. All of
these activities involve other people, and being physically active in
the great outdoors.
I'm also looking forward to training for and attempting to break
Carter Johnson's kayaking record assuming we find and fix the problems
with the boat (and my Achilles tendonitis). I have fond memories of
spending entire days on the lake training for last years attempt and I
am really looking forward to doing that again this year. But this time
around, I don't want to rush my training like I did last June. I am
really looking forward to exploring some of the mountain lakes with
kayaking friends this summer and possibly making an attempt at the
distance record late summer or early fall.
As I wrote in the first paragraph, I've decided to put PTO on the back
burner for a little while, and strategize a way to make the expedition
a team effort rather than a solo project. I think the best place to
start is with an introspective on what it is exactly that I want to
get out of the expedition, what it is that I enjoy doing, and what I'm
good at – that is, what aspects of managing the project am I able to
contribute the most.
What do I want out of Pedal The Ocean?
I think to start with, I need to take a closer look at one of my
long-term goals: To speak. I am passionate about sharing with others
the lessons that I have learned throughout my unique life. Public
speaking is something that I have always feared, but something that I
have recieved immense satisfaction from. In a way, this goal is an
extension of our KidPower school presentations, but greatly expanded
to encompass a wide audience range. My long term goal is to eventually
build up enough interesting and compelling accomplishments and
experiences to weave together a book and a powerful speaking program.
In following with my quest to "Conquer the world by human power",
pedaling across an ocean just seems like a pretty cool thing to do,
and would make for a very powerful base for a presentation.
As some of you may know, I spent many years researching a phenomenom
that all of you rely on in your daily lives to some extent, but few of
you would ever admit to actually 'believing' in. I'm talking about
anomalous cognition which is otherwise know as "intuitive
functioning". This is the basis of my belief in the true power of
HUMAN POWER in ALL of it's forms – mental and physical. You have the
power to accomplish ANYTHING you set your mind to and I think I have
amassed some pretty convincing evidence that this is goes way beyond
simply finishing a marathon run. Accomplishment of course, is more
than physical – there is a substantial MENTAL component involved. I
used soley my mind to break all the odds and make $150,000 in the
futures markets with an 80% trade success rate. Not only is this
success rate unheard of in the futures trading industry where over 90%
of all futures traders loose 100% of their capital, I did it without
ever even knowing what market I was trading – my trading decisions
were based on results from a computer application involving TONS of
statistics and dozens of hours of mentation, and trades were initiated
electronically without my knowledge of the details.
The intermediate term goals that need to be accomplished first are:
1. Human powered world records. This is where I employ cutting edge
technology combined with human power to set new benchmarks for human
power compared with what has been achieved in the past using
traditional means. I want to set records on land (Critical Power 24
hour – done), water (maybe this summer), and in the air (sometime in
the future).
2. Significant human powered distance achievements. This is where
PedalTheOcean comes in, as does possibly something like RAAM where I
would endevour to re-visit my original cross-Canada human powered
record attempt by competing in the RAAM recumbent division.
What do I want to do, what am I good at, what do I NOT want to do?
1. I want to train, I want to compete, I want to challenge myself both
mentally and physically. I like envisioning challenging new projects
and seeing them through. As an embassador for human power, I thrive on
the challenge of encouraging people to become active. With obesity
levels at an all time high, and health care costs rising through the
roof, one of the solutions is physical activity. My various projects
generate interest in what can be accomplished using human power. I
want to insipre others to follow my example and witness for themselves
the powerful effect being physically active can have on their lives.
2. Note that the above paragraph says nothing about shop work. I do
enjoy being in the shop when the work is being creative – when I am
prototyping a new idea or experimenting with some new concepts.
3. I also enjoy the management and leadership, but I think that
esspecially when it comes to PTO, I can't continue to do it all on my
own. I need help in this area.
CONCLUSION
I guess this is the conclusion I have arrived at after thinking this
through, and putting it all down in pixels.
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